It's been a long, been a long, been a long, been a long day...

It's been a while since I have written. The end of the pregnancy was tough and I ended up being induced past my due date. However, I have Samuel Anthony Patrick Festa to show for it. At 7 lbs 13 oz and 20 3/4 inches long, he took all of 2 1/2 (yes, a 1/2, if you are interested, ask and I'll explain) pushes to get that wriggly little bundle of spiky jet black hair into my arms. He's incredible.
I gave myself a week of continued over indulgence after the baby was born, and then the hubs and I dove back into the plan together. Protein first, only eat when hungry, no drinking for 30 minutes after eating (that's just for me) and get moving again. Been doing really well, and although we have had our tough moments, we are pulling each other through. I gained 50 lbs during this pregnancy. I have lost 30 already, and it's been 2 weeks. Obviously, much of it was baby-related, and not JUST eating 3 drumstick ice cream cones per day. Don't judge me.
I've been struggling with the adjustment of going from one child to two. I have a lot of anxiety, and the evenings are the hardest. I get really nervous, get a terrible anxious feeling, and I just want to cry. Let me rephrase - I DO cry. I think I scare my husband. I get the terrible feeling that I want to run away from here. I actually went so far as to look up plane tickets - one way plane tickets. But, I can't afford it. I don't think I would go through with it, and I could never really leave my kids and the hubs, but the feeling is overwhelming. Today was a slightly better day, but even as I type, I can feel the anxiety starting to creep in. I think of all the things I have to do, about being with the kids alone next week, going back to work, having no money...on and on. Ok, I have to stop talking about it...
Anyway, I am hoping that getting back to blogging will be helpful. So, you'll be hearing from me more often again.