The return

So, back from our Pacific Northwest jaunt and I am just starting to feel "back to normal". My first full day back I felt like I was still in the air, nauseous, dizzy, head achy, etc. Slept like a rock, though and thought I was good. Last night I tossed and turned for hours. Just could not get to sleep.
Needless to say, I'm a little cranky today. If it wasn't Friday I would throw myself off a cliff. And I didn't even work all week!! Sheesh!
The scale has been confusing. It looked like I was up about a lb since we left, which I didn't think was terrible. I was on VACATION people! But, this morning I was up further... but I think it's a lack of water thing. That is one aspect I was NOT good at while away.
Something that struck me was my "urge" to eat crazy. I say "urge" because I thought about it, but I didn't crave it nor did I didn't do it. And it didn't bother me. I think I was in awe of the fact that it DIDN'T bother me! Did I eat perfectly on my plan? Um, no. I ate yummy food my sis in law made for us, and yummy food we bought out. I didn't count. I DID try and do high protein. I DID NOT go overboard, and I am super proud of that.
Another change on vaca was my activity level. We were on the go alot, and the hubs and I also walked at least a little everyday. It was nice to get moving, and I am hoping I can continue once I shake this crappy/yucky feeling I have and get a good night's sleep.
Just as I head out of my 12 hour day stint, because the UNH semester is over, I head back into a similar situation with the fruition of The Secret Garden. Elm City Theater Co and UNH and back in action, and this time, Anthony and I are going along for the ride. It's going to be fab - more details to come.
If anyone reading this (all, what, 3 of you?) are in the area (New Haven, CT) We are going to be doing a benefit concert next week. If you want details, let me know! It's going to be a great concert!

Traveling and the fat girl

Tomorrow will be my first traveling experience post WLS. I am still experiencing serious fat girl airline seat phobia. I know in my head that my ass is smaller and I won't have nearly as much trouble as previous trips, but my head has not caught up, and I am nervous. I'm also worried about eating all day as we travel. I am trying desperately not to fall into eating whatever is available because I was unprepared, so I packed a few protein bars, shakes that I can mix up pretty easily with some cold water, a carb-balance wrap with Power PB, and even some cheese sticks. Yes, by the time I am looking for them they will be warm and floppy. I don't care. Been there, done that, still fills me up. I hope I can resist any temptations typical of airports (high carb/high fat, etc)
Of course I am worried about Josh as well. (Are you sensing a trend?) He's still getting over being sick, as in, still has 7 days of antibiotics to consume, and he's going to be cooped up in planes all day. There is only so much you can ask of a toddler. But, we do have an arsenal of "tools" (snacks, portable DVD player and Mickey Mouse DVD, coloring stuff, play-do) and I am praying it will be enough to keep him distracted from the fact that he can't walk all around the airplane. We'll see.
I have to stop worrying now and go to sleep, because we have to be up at 4:30. Yes, A.M.
Night.

racing slowly?

I hate that I don't have enough time during the week to blog more often. You are going to have to trust me on this - I have some really profound and inspiring thoughts during the week and, well, you just have to miss out because of my lack of time. Pity.
Anyway, I am finding it harder and harder to eat really well on the weekend. During the week, I am structured - from my breakfast protein shake, to the time I drink my first 32 oz bottle of water or crystal light, to whatever I am wolfing down for dinner (on the run, of course). If I can control my snacking at night once I get home from work, I am good to go. But, the weekends are so different. We are frequently out during meal times, and unless I have the foresight to bring something, (which, I do on occasion) I am finding myself eating something out. Usually, even the best choice out is higher in fat and calories than I would like. My eating out skills really need work. Actually, my weekend eating schedule is what needs work. I need to plan it like I plan the other 5 days a week. This is a new goal.
I can't remember if I have mentioned it already, but I think it bears repeating. I am in the "220's" (ok, 227). This is the lowest I remember being in my adult life. I would say I have between 40-50 lbs to go. This is obviously going to take a while. I find even if my eating is "perfect" (whatever THAT means) I don't seem to drop any faster. I know that when I start exercising again (read: when I have more time (ie: When UNH ends for the semester)) that is will move off a little faster. One can dream.
I have had a passing thought about training for a 5K. I have been thinking about it for a few months, and then my bro mentioned he was doing one. That was quite a coincidence. My fear in this whole thing, (ok, ONE of my fears) is that I am totally fooling myself to think a fatty like me could run AT ALL, never mind 3.whatever miles in a RACE. Plus, I don't know how to train for anything athletic. I don't know. I feel like doing it would prove... um, I dunno. Prove something. To myself? To others? Meh. I have no idea. What can I say - I'm complex (read: insane)
If anyone has tips on a fatty running a race. Please feel free to share.