F the scale.

Whenever I make a "time line" for weightloss - I lose it. I mean, I go off the deep end. I eat junk, I give up on workouts. I don't know why. It's like my subconscious goes berserk. I've been on myself to lose 20 more lbs by the end of summer. (YES - I am STILL in the 220's) so that hubby and I could start trying for the 2nd baby... so, today I started asking myself - why? All my life, I have been putting things off because of my weight. I couldn't do (fill in the blank) because I was too fat. Now, 140 lbs lost later, and I am still saying it?? WTF? Do I really want to let 20 lbs hold me back from having another baby whenver I damn well want to?? NO. NO MORE.
Now, don't get me wrong, we are still waiting on this for a few more months (for other reasons) but, it's not going to be becuase of the last 20 (or 40) lbs.
My good friend Penny told me today that when we are in the middle of change, when we aren't at the "end result" but we aren't where we started, it can be easy to lose sight of the journey we have accomplished thus far. It's so true, and that's what really got me thinking about all of this.
So, this is my new plan. I know what I am supposed to be eating. I know that I want my carbs to be, my protein to be, my water to be, etc. I am going to try and stick to that as much as possible. Sometimes, it won't work. But, if it can work most of the time, I'll be in good shape. I am also going to stay off the scale for a while. I am goddamn tired of seeing 225-223-222-224-222-223 over and over and over no matter what I do. Fuck the scale. Well, at least for a little while.